Category Archives: Lifestyle

lifestyle

November Gets a Bad Rap (or Rep, if you’d prefer)

November gets a bad rap. (Or if you prefer, it has a bad rep-utation.) Why? Oh, you can just tick the reasons off on all fingers and toes and have some left over – much has to do with the weather, shorter days, colder temps, holiday stress on the rise, yadayadayada. November is a month of contradictions. Here in Vermont, though the trees are bare and there’s often an engulfing bleakness, it’s also a time of growing excitement for winter sports enthusiasts. Goodness, one of our ski areas, Killington, is already open! Ice hockey, ice climbing, winter hiking, snowshoeing, downhill and cross-country skiing, riding (snowboard), fat-biking and even dog-sledding provide loads of outdoor activities in spite of, or because of, the colder temps.

November is certainly a month of differences, if not conflicts. Politically there are elections. Hunting can be a hot topic as the contrast between ethical and foolish hunters is critical. Though the deer might not be having a lot of fun during rifle season, there is an element of sport for the rest of us. As I don my orange hat and vest and dress my dogs in their orange bandanas and coats, I am reminded that the color orange also represents play. And play is so very important!

Even the Thanksgiving Day holiday has generated debate. While November is often referred to as a month of remembrance, note this: in some traditions it is the dead (especially those who are reportedly in purgatory) who need our prayers; yet it is on Veteran’s Day that we remember the living who have served our country and need our thanks.

Daylight Saving Time? What’s up with that? The outrage! Setting our clocks back (does anyone really do that anymore – doesn’t your device handle this chore these days?) triggers SAD (seasonal affective disorder) – or some variation thereof – in so many. Losing that hour of daylight at the end of the day is purportedly tragic. Well, perhaps it is not so bad. Annually I am reminded of (possibly romanticized, but enticing) stories of farmers who no longer worked the fields late into the night, but instead came indoors in the late afternoon after the livestock were fed and bedded down for the night, and sat by the fire mending harness or knitting.

For me, early light is preferable. My Labs need a nice long walk in the woods first thing and watching the sunrise is more desirable than wearing my headlamp. It’s all in the viewpoint, as they say, but perhaps as we are disgruntled, we could practice reframing our outlook and our subsequent experience. Worth a try, don’t you think?

And if you are upset over the first Thanksgiving feast, perhaps focus on the intention might be sharpened. I do not need to belabor this concept.

Gratitude is an enormous word – especially these days as so many work to support mental well-being.

Finally, let’s lighten up with a nod to a few of the many (just use your search engine if you’d like more) holidays to be observed during this month.

11-1: World Vegan Day*

11-4: Use Your Common Sense Day

11-9: Chaos Never Dies Day

11-14: National Pickle Day

11-19: Have a Bad Day Day

11-24: Black Friday. (Flannel Friday in Montpelier, Vermont).

            Also, Buy Nothing Day

11-30: Stay at Home Because You Are Well Day

 And, today? As I write this post? It’s Have a Beautiful Day Day. Furthermore, may you have a season filled with family, friends, love and gratitude.

*(The little pics you see on this post are of a few of my little treasures scattered throughout my home. I love even the tiniest of reminders. Funny, though, I was unable to find anything that said something like “turkey safe zone – this house is vegan.”)

EMBRACING CHANGE

Seasons change and so must we. Do we embrace or resist the inevitable?

My dogs embrace the transition to autumn – the cooler air and scents of wildlife moving about in my woods. I, on the other hand, resist it all. I pile on the blankets at night and don’t want to climb out of bed in the morning. I wear layers and layers in my house and have already donned hat and gloves outdoors. No, it’s not really cold. Just wait until January – but I find myself clinging to the warmth of summer. (OK, that was a mixed blessing for so many this summer – I am not insensitive – but here we had SO much rain and only lovely little blocks of our usual.)

But the big picture  is how we react to change that is going to happen no matter what we do or how we feel about it. The leaves WILL fall and the furnace WILL eventually kick on. May I offer a few suggestions?

*Step outside our comfort zones – maybe daily, maybe weekly but make it a point to define what a comfort zone is and search for ways to tiptoe outside. Today, for example, I varied my usual morning trail walk with Sophie and Lizzie and went deeper into the woods past tall ledges that might, yes, truly might, house bears. No sightings. Phew. Maybe stepping outside means having a difficult conversation, or finishing a project, or committing to something – anything. It could be the usual – embark on a new sport or do something extreme or dangerous. But its doesn’t need to be huge. It’s just knowingly and purposefully stepping over that line.

*Speaking of outside – do we GO outside EVERY day? For some, this is a no-brainer. If we are fortunate enough to live in a place where outdoor space is abundant and welcoming, well, we are fortunate and therefore have no reason not to open that door and venture out. If we work outdoors, even if we need to get to our cars, or have dogs that need to be walked – again, fortunate. But sometimes we do need to pick ourselves up and spend time in outdoor awareness, noticing the terrain, feeling the air, observing the surroundings and listening. One of the advantages (yes, I count this as advantage) of having a dog is that he or she absolutely must go outside. Opening the door and granting pee time is not enough. Our furry friends need exercise so outside it is – rain, snow, sleet, hail – or so the saying goes. Invariably, we find that even the worst weather conditions offer their own benefits.

*Sign up for something. Take a course. Join a study group. Buy a challenging book. I am one who continues to study anything and everything about my work from listening to Podcasts to reading newly published books to online classes and training. But that’s easy. Taking a course in something a little different, is where I push myself. Recently I completed a highly recommended and deeply valued 6-week Lovingkindness meditation training program with the Vermont Zen Center https://vermontzen.org/  Adding this work to my daily habits has been a game-changer. I also pushed myself in a different but similar direction and joined a book club – even though I needed to bring a potluck dish each month – and for someone who does not cook, this was daunting! Through this group I am nudged to read books I would not otherwise have chosen and then be prepared to discuss, agree, disagree and hone my social skills.

*Reach out. Reach out to family and friends near and far. Visit, engage, text, Zoom, whatever. I really need to work on this. Do we get too busy to remember someone? Never. But sometimes we fail to let our loved ones know. And do we listen when we do connect? 

*And just one more suggestion from me – surely you will have oh so many more to add – enhance our daily practice of checking in with ourselves, experiencing gratitude (note – I did not suggest using words to express gratitude but to actually embody gratitude), perhaps spending a few minutes in silence or journaling. Some of us are familiar with Julia Cameron’s The Artists Way.  Talk about life altering! This is a 12 week study complete with daily and weekly assignments and is worth every minute. I first heard of this course from a favorite podcaster, Rich Roll, and have since found many who I respect have nothing but high praise for Cameron’s work. (One is Elizabeth Gilbert who claims that to this day she writes her “morning pages” and that her Eat, Pray, Love would never have been written had she not done The Artists Way first. When I read this, I thought ‘If it’s good enough for Elizabeth Gilbert, it’s good enough for me!’)

Borrowing once again from a favorite writer, Arthur Brooks, (paraphrasing from memory but you’ll get the gist), check in with a daily pyramid suggested by the Dalai Lama of first making sure we can define and live  in accordance with our moral values, then spending some time in meditation, and finally reading wisdom. (From Strength to Strength, Arthur C. Brooks, (2022) And you might also like his new book, co-authored with Oprah Winfrey, Build the Life You Want, The Art and Science of Getting Happier (2023) – trust me, not ‘just’ a self-help book!)

Enough? Probably never enough! But yes, we can flip it and embrace change, welcome the newness of each season, anticipate the possibilities and engage in that which touches the very edges of our lives. Happy Autumn from Vermont.

Past Peak and Still Beautiful, Natural Seasons and Life Cycles Suggest Each Other

Watching as the world around us transition from season to season circling the year’s clock face, pass through clearly defined phases and then reconnect to begin again is a lesson in change, adaptation, and light. Yes, light. If we look – really look – with our physical eyes, inner sight, mental clarity and creative vision, we learn lessons that support and sustain us as we move forward.

Watching necessitates a pause. Framing a vast scene or a tiny fragment for a photo or mental image is an act of simplification, magnification, wonder and respect.

Last weekend here in Vermont we were flooded with gorgeous, brilliant colors topped with a dusting of snow on our highest peaks. This weekend we are Past Peak and Still Beautiful. As I noted this on my walk, I was startled to realize that this is a meaningful concept indeed! How often do we admire an antique, painting, vintage clothing or older friend? How much do we appreciate the athlete who has transitioned from the prime days of record-breaking achievement to an athlete who, with maturity, coaches, writes, and reaches out with shared skills?

What of the senior executive who mentors and the musician whose tone becomes deeply resonant? What of the model who turns to design, the performer who directs, the parents who grandparent?

Is any of this less? Perhaps the transition itself is the learning curve to land experience as something useful rather than degenerative.

And yet, though Past Peak may Still be Beautiful, there is a demand for strength and energy.

In the world of health and fitness, we teach that as our bodies age, the absolute priority is muscular strength to enhance bone health and joint stabilization, mobility and balance.

Quite a few experts have quite a lot to say about this subject. Here are a few resources if you’re so inclined.

In the following podcast, Dr. Gabrielle Lyons makes no bones about it (pardon the pun) – strength training, cardiovascular exercise and HIIT (high intensity interval training) are a must!  (She is also an advocate of substantial amounts of protein but I won’t touch a nutritional topic – so many options to be suggested!) https://drchatterjee.com/the-critical-importance-of-strength-training-and-eating-more-protein-with-dr-gabrielle-lyon/

Arthur C. Brooks is a popular author whose latest book is From Strength to Strength, Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. I’m taking my time with this one as there are gems on each, page. You might also enjoy this podcast conversation of Brooks with Rich Roll:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE0giQ4znNw

From the get-go Brooks is encouraging. Using science, experience, research and logic he proposes that the beautiful mind of a younger person utilizes “fluid intelligence” and later, mature folks use “chrystalized intelligence.” To tease you I will share his quote from British psychologist, Raymond Cattell:  “When  you are young, you have raw smarts; when you are old, you have wisdom. When you are young, you can generate lots of facts; when you are old, you know what they mean and how to use them.” (Is your interest piqued?)

I also love the way Brooks connects physical, mental and spiritual fitness. He, himself, has a practice that is significant and actionable. He advocates clearly defining one’s moral values, daily meditation and daily reading something by a great thinker, words of wisdom.

Within the principles of the Five Element Theory of Traditional Chinese Medicine, we have fully entered the time of year associated with the Metal Element and find ourselves involved with the process of refining, honoring wisdom and self-knowledge. (Past Peak but Still Beautiful?) As Gail Reichstein writes in her excellent book, Wood Becomes Water, Chinese Medicine in Everyday Life, the emotion associated with this time of year is grief. “Grief also teaches us what we value in our lives and in the lives of others, giving us the opportunity to redirect our energies toward becoming who we most want to be.”

Further study reveals that Metal represent both the seeking and that which is found. Coincidental to Brooks and Cattell, Reichstein writes that “the soul of Metal is wisdom …Wisdom turns experience into understanding, allowing us to know more about the present because of what we have learned from the past.” She further states that “The soul of Metal also creates teachers; those who pass their wisdom on to others.”  I think everyone is on the same page!

Continuity. A circle. As green leaves become vibrant with reds, yellows and oranges creating a spectacular vista, they then fall to the ground to become nourishment for future growth. But even in their transition, there is beauty. There is a time and place for value, opportunity, energies and self-actualization. There are lessons to be absorbed simply by sharing breath and space and light, by walking through the calendar year with the natural world as our habitat and companion. And, when we are “Past Peak, it is Still Beautiful.”

From Strength to Strength, by Arthur C. Brooks, Penguin Random House, 2022.

Wood Becomes Water, by Gail Reichstein, Kodansha America, 1998.

MAMA BEAR and other notes


Mama Bear borrowed from donnaashworth.com

Recently I was called a Mama Bear. I’ll take it. I was in a meeting with a professional, my daughter and son-in-law. At one point, quite unexpectedly and out of character, I flared with outrage and strong, protective language at the way my children were being treated. (I believe it stunned my daughter, but I’m sure I heard my son-in-law cheering in the background of our Zoom call!) I don’t really know how this landed because I needed to excuse myself from the call, but was later teased as their Mama Bear. Again, I’ll take it.

Bears. What do they mean to you? Do you have bears in your life – figuratively or literally? I certainly do. 

The Green Mountain National Forest, and more specifically the Camel’s Hump State Forest, are just outside my door. It is therefore no surprise that black bears, who find this an ideal setting in which to live, breed and raise their young, are my next-door neighbors.  For the most part, they are good neighbors. They have yet to knock on my door, but they have walked within yards of my home. They keep going, though, as there is nothing to tempt them and, if she notices, my chocolate Lab, Sophie, will make quite a fuss.

In fact, it is Sophie about whom I worry the most. Her habit is consistent; her bear-sighting behavior is always the same. First there is that bear barking – it is unique to bear sightings and I know immediately what’s up.  In the car she will turn circles barking all the time and I know to look roadside for a bear.  Off leash, she will dart in the direction of the bear – but run in very large circles around it until it trees.  She will then return to me begging to show me what she has done. No thank you. Let’s walk quietly and steadily home! [Note: I avoid the woods in the spring when the babies are very young and stick to the dirt roads. I also leash her for much of our travels. A bear and dog dispute is not something I want to incite or witness.]

But let me go back to some of what I have learned. First of all, here in Vermont, we have BLACK bears. I first learned this a few years ago. I was hiking a 4000’ trail in New Hampshire on a day when there were very few cars parked on the lot below so allowed Sophie to hike off leash. At one point she ran just ahead of me, around a sharp turn, and I heard a voice shout – “OH (expletive-expletive)! If this is a bear, I’m dead!” (Note, Sophie is effusive in her greetings.) Within seconds several other young male voices laughed and teased the first male and began to play with Sophie. One reminded him that if, in fact, this had been a brown bear, he would be dead.

So, what’s the difference? I learned from my brother that Brown bears come in two sizes – very, very large (the kind you see on videos scooping up salmon; in Alaska they’re Kodiaks) and Grizzlys, considered a subspecies of the Brown bear. I prefer to meet up with neither. We normally associate Brown bears with the western part of the U.S.

Last year there was a video (that went viral) of a Mama Bear in New England doing her best to usher her cubs across two lanes of stopped traffic. It was endearing. However, it is perhaps best that Mama Bear was only frustrated by her young and not by the spectators. Human parents with multiple babies could certainly relate. In fact, for us human parents, the Mama Bear instincts are not only understandable and relatable, but also to be respected.

Which brings me back to my Mama Bear story. In 2000, I found myself unexpectedly single and in Santa Fe with my daughter who had just graduated from high school. It was meant to be a family celebration but became something much different. With my daughter’s help, I connected with the strength that I would need to go forward and recognized that the small, stone bear I purchased had special significance for me and for the years ahead. In Native American tradition, bears symbolize physical strength, leadership and are known as the “first helper.” Bear paws are a symbol representing inner strength. My new little figurine of a Zuni bear signifies The Guardian of the Earth. A heart-line arrow going from head to heart symbolizes a warrior’s heart, strong like the bear’s. If no longer a wife, I would be forever a Mama Bear. Today my bear sits on my desk next to my computer monitor. It has traveled many miles and through many situations since the year 2000.

And then I became fearful of bears. I thought I could avoid hiking trails with signs warning of bears, but they are everywhere. I was not fearful for myself, but for my dog. However, as she matures and as I begin to connect more with Mama Bear, I am more respectful than afraid. Yes, I realize something could trigger a bear’s reaction or there could be a rogue bear out there somewhere, but for the most part, it is best to coexist peacefully and give them space. Oh that we could do that as humans, right?

It is April as I write this. I have learned that cubs are not unlike puppies, born about 8” long and weigh 8-12 ounces. By the time they emerge from their dens they are only 4-8 pounds but are able to follow their mother around. It is no surprise, therefore that Mama Bear is protective. I have also learned that Mama and babies will most likely remain in their habitat above me and away from civilization for a few months yet. Though there is controversy over their habit of hibernation or denning up, it seems that our bears might appear randomly throughout the season if the ‘climate changes’ warm up enough to tempt them outdoors. In fact, during a thaw in February this year, to my great surprise, Sophie treed a young bear (probably 1-2 years old) who had ventured outside his winter home apparently alone.

I return to the Mama Bear identity one last time. Perusing the internet I found one statement in an ad for what was dubbed a Mama Bear fleece, that stated: “tough mamas maximize every day.” I also landed on this: “The real definition: A mama bear is a mama with boundaries. A woman who parents the best way she can, for her child, and a woman who doesn’t apologize for her choices. A mama bear is a woman who asserts herself in any way as a parent. She says ‘no’”.  Mama Bear. I’ll take it.https://abigailgranner.com/2020/11/01/what-mama-bear-really-means/

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Note: I take issue with this survey of black bears in Vermont! The bears in my neighborhood stroll, unconcerned, across patios and along country roads. By later in the summer, when readily available food in the woods is not so readily available, “our” bears have no problem searching dumpsters, around outdoor grills and even through an open door if they happen upon one.  However, I do live in a region where bears find a natural habitat.  https://vtfishandwildlife.com/learn-more/vermont-critters/mammals/black-bear

However, note that a more recent notice mandates bear boxes and other bear prevention practices for hikers on the Long Trail. Bears are proliferating and are savvy. They know that hikers bring food. Hopefully they do not leave food.

https://www.greenmountainclub.org/hiking/wildlife/

This is a fascinating report on bears that you might want to take a few minutes to read:  https://www.nps.gov/yell/learn/nature/denning.htm

OUTDOORS-a very personal perspective

“May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.”     John O’Donohue

OUTDOORS

For three decades my habitat was a studio. Not just any studio, mind you, but two distinctly different and amazing studios. First, there was the studio in Baltimore. I began ballet lessons with the reigning royalty of classical ballet, Carol Lynn, way way back when I was just 4 years old. Miss Lynn’s kingdom was the huge ground level studio in the Peabody Conservatory of Music, Dance Department. Miss Lynn was respected far and wide as a leading expert and to study with her was deemed a privilege. The studio space was from another epoch. Gorgeous, worn wooden floors vibrated with the energy of movement over a century. Three story high windows needed to be raised and lowered with a 20-foot-long pole – or longer, I can’t really remember. Needless to say, the ceiling was waaaaaay up there. Massive mirrors covered one entire wall. A balcony lined another wall for visitors and critics. A graduate student from the Conservatory piano department accompanied classes on the baby grand in the corner. One door led to an open marble hallway and another to dressing rooms that in turn led to a courtyard. It was magical. I left this studio in my early teens to study in NYC where another old and fabulously worn studio became my home.

An old school ballet studio as Edward Degas saw it

I had been accepted as a working student and was mentored by the incomparable Margaret Craske, literally world renowned as a teacher and ballet mistress to the Royal Ballet of England, personal coach to Margot Fonteyn and Rudolph Nureyev when he defected from Russia, and later as teacher and coach to the Metropolitan Opera Ballet and others in the U.S. The old Met studio was definitely a Phantom of the Opera setting! It was even more abused than the studio in Baltimore but reeked of ballet and opera history. Any hour of the day or night, it seemed, there was always something going on from classes to rehearsals to ballet to opera to set design, and so on. Children in the school delighted in appearing in operas that called for them while dancers in the company showed up reluctantly at 10 a.m. for professional class and singers straggled in late afternoon to move clumsily through some type of choreography for whatever opera was being rehearsed at the time. After a rickety ride up an old elevator, we would wind along back halls and climb up to a creaky catwalk along one side of the studio, headed to the dressing room and trying not to make a sound that would inevitably illicit a frown from below.

The “old” Metropolitan Opera House where I had the privilege of performing as a young teen.

My early years of “outdoors” were spent primarily at a stable in the few hours I had outside the Peabody. My other passion was horses, but it had been predetermined that I would become a ballet dancer. My mother had been a singer and had sung at the Met so I was destined to follow, one way or another. Later I walked the streets of NYC as I hurried from residence to studio and back again.

Fast forward. Ultimately I returned to Baltimore where I replaced the retired Miss Lynn and the Peabody studio became my domain. I became a college student at Johns Hopkins University where I also taught and later I transitioned to the gym. When it was time to move on, I did. I trained and taught and made my way through parenting and aerobics, from personal training to Yoga.

Outdoor hours spent at horse shows – here Teague and Ernie compete during Vermont Summer Festival.

Later, in Vermont, I had horses and skiing and soccer and all the wonderful things that we enable here in this beautiful state. But, even though I mucked stalls early in the morning and exercised my horses regularly, I never really did think of it as being, well, the “outdoors.” It was simply where I did what I needed to do.

Sunset at Lookout Point, Maine

Over the years, running, cycling, and oh so much driving, the outdoors always remained simply a place in which my activities occurred.  Fast forward again. For a few summers I had the good fortune to spend a month on the coast of Maine where I watched the sun rise from my deck and crossed to the other side of the peninsula to watch it drop below the horizon across a cove. Sunrise and sunset bookended days that began to embrace the outdoors as more than simply space. Relaxed walks on trails, meanderings along the coast, awakened a sense of pleasure before unknown. And then came Sophie. My amazing chocolate Labrador Retriever did the trick. I traded driven goals for pleasant outings. I left the world of road cycling to hike the steeps of Vermont and New Hampshire, always with my beloved dog. I learned that to breathe in fresh air, to pause to look at tiny snapshots of nature, and to stand in stillness to honor grand vistas, was good for the fitness that I now teach – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

sophie

morning coffee in the all-too-short Vermont summer

Today, thanks to my faithful companion, I live in a home of peace, harmony and beauty. There is no questioning – it’s out the door first thing every morning or I will be reminded that someone needs to go into the woods! In the summer I enjoy my coffee on the patio before I begin my work for the day; and in the winter I love to watch the moon rise over the mountains spilling light on snow-blanketed terrain.

Though I continue to teach and write, and though I continue to spend hours each day in physical activity, I now do so with the constant reminder of the outdoors connection. Possibly, it is why we live in Vermont. The outdoors is safe. The outdoors is clean. The outdoors is free.

City dwellers – I know you are both privileged and neglected – been there, done that. With luck you may enjoy “my” outdoors on weekends or vacations. But, as much science is revealing, even opening a window or putting green plants in our homes, can be helpful. I urge us all to consider moving what we can to the outdoors or bring what we can of the outdoors to us. As the world addresses environment, may we all make the available environment a significant component of our habitat – the habitat in which we live and work and play and grow and love.

photo courtesy of Jim Heins

SEPTEMBER SIGNALS A RESTART

September signals a restart, but of what? Traditionally Labor Day Weekend marks the close of the summer season even though the Autumnal Equinox isn’t until Wednesday, September 22nd. And, sigh, 2021 is a September shrouded by ambiguity. In many places, starting as early as mid-August, students were back on playing fields and campuses, dorm rooms and classes. Yet the dark cloud of question continues to loom with rampant indecision about masks, distancing, vaccinations, boosters and the ever popular – hybrid or not. Ridiculously, tempers flare and threats of violence are aimed at good people trying to make tough decisions. Parents worry about their babies under 12 for whom there is not yet a vaccine (soon, we hear) and about their preteens and teens doing their best to go about adolescence as usual. It’s all so edgy.

We thought last September would be a one-off with respect to Covid even though we were warned about something casually floated as the “new normal.” Businesses that planned onsite staffing from now through October, are putting on the brakes. Back to a discussion of hybrid? At best, I think. Maybe back to the big V (virtual).

On a positive and unequivocally stimulating note, there’s that kind of excitement or fluttering, when something new is about to happen. One feels a bit like coiled spring about to let loose. I noticed this today when I took Sophie for a woods outing and laughed out loud as she tore around in zoomies – over a bridge, into a brook, up a rock, back in the brook, back through a field of goldenrod and milkweed, and over the bridge again and again. Was it sheer joy or has she been bursting at the seams to just buzz? Anyway, it’s what I call my “anticipatory feeling.” Well, there’s that feeling, part intuitive and part reactive, that is the spirit of September. Warm weather teases us to believe there is yet more summer and maybe we can relax; and, then the cooler nights and breezy days inform us that it is well time to pick ourselves up and get organized, restart our sleepy creativity, and begin to use some of the regenerative mental and physical energy that we certainly hope has been nurtured within us.

One of my summer reads was WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE, by Oprah Winfrey (2014). It’s been on my shelf for many years but recently the time was right to have at it.  I love her quote on the back cover: “I know for sure: Your journey begins with a choice to get up, step out, and live fully.” Works well with all that September represents, don’t you think?

Do you remember, as a child, the thrill of shopping for school supplies? May I tell you that I still adore my paper notebooks and journals and colored pens? (not opposed to a sticker or two, either!) I know I am not alone as I hear from friends and colleagues about the search for the perfect journal or the delicious feel of particular writing pages. Ha! There is still room in today’s digital monopoly for some brain enhancing tactile writing and reading. I love that my mother, also addicted to charming notepads, would tell me that each new morning was like turning to a clean page on which no one had yet written. It was my privilege to do the writing. What would I do with my day?  Sweet, eh?

September might well be the kickstart or restart of professional or personal structure. Perhaps we reframe each day to include dedicated blocks of time for healthy habits, a resumption of fitness hours and attention to nutritional benefits. Furthermore, in the reframing of time, perhaps there is also a reframing of motivation, gratitude and respect for the bodies and minds we exercise and fuel.

September is clearly a transitional period between the common concept of summer and the back-to-school mentality of early fall. Gradually the layering begins: clothing, responsibilities, new jobs, and balancing hectic schedules. The obvious seasonal reminder of shorter days and longer evenings mandates yet another segue into the fall months. There’s no fighting it. Until December 21, darkness will increase and the need to adapt is part survival, or seen from an attitude of positivity, part curiosity.

My go-to resource for dealing with stress, or helping others to do so, is Dr. Rangan Chatterjee’s THE STRESS SOLUTION (2018). This little book is packed with meaningful tips and discourses on the many aspects of stress and ways to work with this thing that has gained prominence in recent years, bolstered by Covid, and apparently a part of daily life for most, if not all. One piece of advice resonates with the idea of September as being a time to regroup and move forward.  Dr. Chatterjee encourages the reader to L.I.V.E. 

L = LOVE. As we move forward, yes, to love ourselves and others, to both give and receive love. However, more importantly for our purposes here, he challenges us to LOVE what we are doing!

I = INTENTION. As we restart, regroup and reframe the weeks and months to come, let us do so with intention. To be certain of our intention and then to apply our thought and action to that intentional purpose, is to move forward cleanly without waste or wandering.

V = VISION. Oh my, vision is a profound word that runs the gamut from looking and truly seeing all the way to one’s mental, emotional and spiritual vision for individual and universal future possibilities.

E = ENGAGEMENT. Finally we are urged to engage in life itself – from present moments to chance meetings to thoughtful yet bold actions.

Returning to Oprah, let me share a quote of Goethe’s: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it;/Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”  Oprah follows this with: “Make a decision and watch your life move forward.”

Bottom line? It is September. “Make a decision and watch your life move forward.”

COMFORT ZONES

Paying attention to comfort zones is a significant contributing factor to a life well lived.

Perhaps the first step is to identify and define what each of us perceives to be our own, uniquely individual, comfort zone. (Previously I have quipped that my comfort zone is so small that most of what I do on a daily basis is outside it. If this sounds like a person of anxiety, well, so be it.) Then we might ask “why?” – why step out and why not stay safely within?

Here’s the bottom line: living one’s life within the cozy confines of routine with few opportunities to challenge, might sound nice, but soon reduces one’s ability to respond to stimuli – either positive or negative. It is by tasting the unknown, problem-solving potentially awkward or anxiety-producing situations, and moving forward to completion that we build confidence based on history and, in fact, benefit mental health.

Moving outside a comfort zone means many things to many people. Expanding the boundaries and pushing our limits should be done thoughtfully. Not everyone is ready to jump from sofa-safety to skydiving. What is important is to acknowledge when we are enlarging the zone and how we are preparing to do so, experiencing the moment, and processing what has happened when we return “home” perhaps with a mixture of surprise and satisfaction.

Yo-Yo Ma needs no introduction, but to glance at his biography, we can only imagine how far he has lived his life and performed his work outside of any real or perceived comfort zone. He IS his music and his art, but his life practice includes family, community and humanity.

“Each day I move toward that which I do not understand. The result is a continuous accidental learning which constantly shapes my life.” Yo-Yo Ma.

Stepping out of one’s comfort zone may be physical, mental or emotional but has been shown to stimulate brain cell growth and activity as well as the brain’s chemical response to discomfort and challenge. Varying routine – even as mundanely as taking a different route – nurtures seeds of growth. Learning new skills or simply opening thought to differing opinions, pausing the auto-reject response, may be uncomfortable at first, but becomes a generous piece of our modus operandi.

The world is full of change and if we want to live relatively harmoniously in this world, we need to explore that which is constantly changing. This is a topic lodged in infinity so I will pass by.  Perhaps these recent months of Covid response have prompted many of us to spend quality time learning new things, listening to podcasts and TED Talks and indulging in online courses. Here I share tips of what I have learned. I encourage you to take a few minutes to look back, identify, and review your own experiences; then sit with your new knowledge and skills.

“The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.”  Elizabeth Gilbert

90 minutes challenges sticktoittiveness.

*I have had the privilege of stepping physically into challenging situations whether on my Peloton bike or on an adventure with my chocolate Lab, but find that when I identify the degree of hesitation and concern in advance, I am better able to literally put one foot in front of the other. The key here is to STOP and think before moving outside a zone – the huge advantage of perspective.

*Trust personal history. Navigating what is uncomfortable, or even scary, builds a personal history on which to rely for future anxious times.

*Recognize that an appropriate amount and intensity of exercise (whether for health or performance) – as with comfort zones – needs to be adapted to current individual life circumstances. In the world of athletics, periodization including times of intense training must be balanced with rest, recovery and a multitude of supportive practices. As we seek general health, exercise and activity are imperative to manage stress, cortisol and inflammation, but additionally to provide us with pleasure and a sense of wellbeing. It is, therefore, counterproductive to adhere to rigid training programs at all times, as “life happens” and adjustments are often more beneficial that checking the box.

*The more I learn about nutrition, the more respectful I am of this constantly evolving science. I believe it behooves us all to constantly seek new information and put it into practice as best we can whether it is relative to food, breath, new forms of functional training in the gym or on the Yoga mat, or even gardening or DIY projects. (I must laugh at this last as I am a novice gardener and a DIY dummy who panics at the slightest problem. Thank goodness for Google searches!)

I love the concept of “continuous accidental learning” which indeed shapes life and adds to personal history.

And here I return to Yo-Yo Ma. “Passion is one great force that unleashes creativity, because if you’re passionate about something, then you’re more willing to take risks.” Yo-Yo Ma        

My children, students and clients all know that I am a strong believer in passion. We MUST live our lives with passion if we are to squeeze from them every drop of goodness, whether challenge or achievement, fatigue or energy, fear or strength, valley or mountain. Furthermore, if we submit our limiting lines of comfort to the pursuit of that which excites our passions, we will step outside often and well.

 

To be NOTICEFULL

To be “noticefull” invites fluid definition. A child may be filled with the curiosity and wonder created by noticing. A friend may notice the good deed of another. A city dweller might be alert to the sound of footsteps approaching too quickly from behind, while a country resident might look more closely at a fragile blossom along a trail that only yesterday merely hinted of what might follow.  Noticing is rarely an empty pursuit and often fills one with reaction to that which was noticed, i.e., noticefull.

Years ago, each Saturday as I drove to the studio to teach a 7 a.m. Spinning™ class, I listened to the NPR broadcast, a Way with Words. The question was asked if a word is real? The response was clear: “But are they really words if they’re not in the dictionary? Yes, if it’s said or written and has a meaning, it’s a word.” Is noticefull in the dictionary? No, but my 3-year old son used it often and squeezed every drop of meaning out of the compound.

Surely it’s easier to pause when the view invites.

Taking time to pause, to observe, to see, hear, feel, taste or smell, to idle, to muse, may be a gift to retrieve from Covid 19, the grand Thief of life, time, resources and well-being. This thief is not done with us yet. Nor are we ready to surrender as we small individuals in the large mosaic of the 21st century strive to make sense of what has happened and hang on for what may lie ahead. Yes, there are those who want nothing more than to break free of worry and restrictions, kick up their heels, and try to forget it ever happened. But it did happen and it is happening. Should those of us who are fortunate to have escaped health and financial ruin be grateful? Of course. But perhaps not giddy. Maybe in our gratitude we might search for some snippets of goodness and positivity to carry forward with us. If not Covid, surely other challenges will face those of us lucky enough to live to see them and strong enough to challenge back.

You, my friend, do not need to read yet another blog post about Covid, about the universal need for vaccinations, or about lifting requirements and returning to life as the new usual. Nor do you need to read yet another attempt to help each and all deal with anxiety and mental health. All I can say is that if we thought stress was a buzzword before, well, now, in bold letters, it is a condition linked to a very long list of physical illnesses and a given contributing factor to an even longer list of mental and emotional vulnerabilities and resulting behaviors.

For most of my professional life as a personal trainer, I have worked with concepts beyond the building of physical fitness and enhancement of athletic performance. During recent years I have coached the importance of recovery, play and sleep as equally necessary and rewarding as setting and achieving goals. I also coach “noticefull.”

Clients, students and readers have observed my changing focus, clearly influenced by this past year-plus, in which I continue to encourage habits of regular exercise, good nutrition and numerous components of fitness, but do so within a broader and softer context. Certainly my over 500 hours of Yoga training influences me. The advantages of Zoom (and yes there are many) coupled with fewer daily driving hours, has permitted me time to study, research, listen and learn, all in support of my work. (I used to say there is a fine line between teaching and studying. I now say there is NO line between being a teacher and being a student!)

Now, as we (hopefully) exit the Covid phase, what do I believe, practice and teach?      First and foremost, I believe that each of us is precious and good, worthy                                         and unique unto ourselves. Be it good ole nature or nurture,                                                   we each have valid strengths and challenges,                                                                                 dreams and fears, passions and avoidances to be embraced.

In so many instances, it does not matter how we look or how we compare with another, but rather how we learn, grow and complete ourselves; and then how we are able to reach out to others to help them along their own personal journeys.

We each respond to different approaches. Some of us love the thrill of competition and challenging goals and the process that underpins success in both. Some of us simply seek that precious few minutes when we can take a walk away from distractions or steal a quick 10 minutes to sit in stillness.

If you are stuck In the reluctance of these times, or if you are wildly escaping limitations, you may be sharing the same spectrum of inertia. I encourage you to open your hearts and open your minds, to look and listen. There is an entire world of change to be tasted and tried. Experts abound, often sharing personal stories, and there is usually something to be learned from each. Pick and choose what might work for you. What is accessible, affordable, practical and achievable? Can you add a morning ritual to each day? Perhaps a designated time of connection with someone you miss or love? Open a window on silliness and giggle with kids? (Actually do it when your watch says to breathe?) Downregulate through your final hours of the day phasing out screen time?

Parting thought. I’d like to share my morning ritual with you as it is a product of the past months. As you are surely noticefull, you will quickly realize that you’ve read some of this before – yes, in last month’s post! But I do try to practice what I learn and share with you. Taking advice from multiple sources, and with the encouragement of Sophie, my chocolate lab, I spend an early 20 minutes of my day outdoors. In previous years, I would have dragged her past scents as I tried to log a run. Now I walk leisurely, coffee mug in hand, and give her this time as well. Next it’s my turn and she acquiesces. It’s out to the patio – she with her breakfast and I with my refill. Sometimes I’m bundled up in blankets, but unless it’s raining hard, we spend another 10-20 minutes – Sophie and her bone and me with my books and journal.

American Robin courtesy of USFish&Wildlife

Sometimes I simply sit and listen, as does she. Wait, wasn’t it silent a minute ago? These birds are so raucous! Did they only just begin to sing so loudly? (I know, I know – I looked it up and it’s probably the males staking their claim on territory or potential liaison – but I still call it singing.)  But listening is amazing. Touch? – unless I am noticefull, I don’t feel the air on my skin.

Pure pleasure – sniffing!

Smell? OK, TBH I get a general scent of clean, clear, fresh, green, etc, but let me tell you, Sophie is all about scent. Sometimes I just watch her, nostrils fluttering, eyes closed, so loving the moment. (that would be Sophie’s nostrils not mine) You get the idea. Even 10 minutes of being noticefull prepares me for the day ahead. And that’s before making a list or checking my messages. Is this easy? No. But worth putting the distractions aside. I often reorganize my thoughts by coming back to this from David Whyte: “there is a small opening into the day that closes the moment you begin your plans.”  (What to Remember When Waking, David Whyte: Essentials) I do what I can to protect that opening.

The Starting Gate
Alamy stock photos

And, next, of course, I’m off – out of the starting gate of my day with a clean start and a good break.                                                             I wish you the same.                                      And to be notice full.

SNACKS* IN 2021

May 2021

Snacking is good. Well, let me qualify this at the start – I am NOT talking about food.  (Yes, I confess, I jumped on the eat-something-small-every-four-hour bandwagon years ago when grazing was first promoted – about the same time carbs for athletes was being touted. My how things change!  I have definitely jumped off that wagon! So much new science – IF and Timed Eating ….) However, there is another way to embrace snacking and I do so.

The concept of snacking overrules ambitious grand schemes for study, practice, health … and the list goes on and on. I first heard this term used a few months ago referencing adding a walking program to a sedentary person’s life. Presumably sparked by a noble New Years resolution, a couch potato sought advice on how to jump into a schedule. Rather than suggest an idealistic goal of 30, 45, 60 or more minutes a day (in one exercise session) or an unattainable mileage goal, the response was to make snacking a habit. To embrace the habit would be more valuable than scoring high numbers of minutes, steps or miles. In other words, snack on your new habit and walk whenever possible – maybe just 2 minutes to go up the steps, or 5 minutes to the mailbox, or 7-10 minutes around the house, or …. You get the idea. BUT indulge on these snacks frequently. Maybe every hour. Add them up at the end of the day and perhaps the achievement would be as much as or more than the initial but daunting goal of a huge block. The key, of course, is to DO it, to make it a habit that will be repeated daily.

Personal Fav = Peloton:)

(of course, this is not a new concept but perhaps bears repeating or reframing – and of course your Fitbit or Apple Watch or whatever app you might love will do the same thing – just reframing)

Recently I have been enjoying an eclectic selection of podcasts. My current favorites are from Functional Medicine doctors Mark Hyman and Rangan Chatterjee. I know, I’ve mentioned them before, but their interviews are so very thought-provoking. I especially love that Dr. Chatterjee (has an awesome accent but …) concludes his lengthier interviews by asking his expert to sum up with just 4 or 5 actionable tips for the listener to walk away with. Snacks, I think.

a close up is a snack!

Today I was listening to Arianna Huffington talk about “micro habits,” bits and pieces of actionable practices in keeping with the concept of snacks. Perhaps it is the inclusion of  5 minutes of gratitude, or 10 minutes of stillness, or 2 full minutes of breath observation, or reaching out to help one person, or pausing to acknowledge one thing each did well this day.

There are huge obstacles to overcome in each individual’s life. Or perhaps it is more likely that there are huge obstacles to work with and be shaped by, learn from, and move on. After all, Augusten Burroughs says something along the lines of: “I, myself, am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.”  (how much do you love that?!)

It is also said that pain is the agent of change. Without disturbance, one might become captive to a shrinking comfort zone. And to borrow from another of Chatterjee’s guests, is one a performer on life’s stage or does one live one’s own unique, exquisitely individual and complex life?

You see, podcasts, essays, blog posts, conversations, and even fortune cookies might offer a sentence or two to take away and chew on as a snack.

Note: an endurance athlete might need a 7-course dinner, not a snack. Snacking is for habit building, for waking up that which might be dormant or for maintaining the forward moving inertia that one has worked hard to put in motion. Snacking fits into the spaces created by life when life gets real and necessary and very demanding. Doing nothing is not an option. Physical activity, mental stimulation, and yes, even pockets of silliness are snacks that sustain and nourish us.

For example: Do not send the kids outside to play – go out with them – at least for a snack. Do not put the dog in the yard and clean up later; take the dog for a walk even if it is frustrating to accommodate the dog’s busy nose as spring scents entice. Stuck on Zoom? Stand up, stretch, pick your knees up, kick your butt, do those infamous six positions of the spine, then see if your stretching snack gave you a pick up. Stress steam-rollering you? Close your mental door and slip behind your eyelids for a moment of stillness, your own personal pause in a world where chaos reigns if you allow it. Brows furrowed? Take a minute or three to thumb through your adolescent kid’s favorite lame joke book. You will laugh, I guarantee it. (If not, you need more than a snack!)

In my teaching and coaching I often encourage students and clients to try to do less but do it more efficiently and achieve the same or greater results. Years ago, before I learned what I know now, I would quip: turn your tension into energy. Yes, well, why not? Stress, striving, pushing, forcing, tend to shut down the flow of energy within and without the body causing pain instead of power. Allow the energy to flow freely and in concert with your inner and outer strength and you will find that which you could only imagine, redefining limitless goals.

Balance, of course, is key. All snacks won’t work forever but will always have a place in one’s daily habits. Constantly shuffling the deck of fitness and wellness components helps sustain equilibrium. Exercise, healthy nutrition, hydration, and sleep are vital. Exercise itself has many pieces: aerobic, strength, power, quickness and mobility/stability training. Nutrition is as varied as the consumer and needs to be studied and tested carefully avoiding extremes. Meditation, Yoga, Pilates, Barre, Qi Gong, and, of course, Peloton, offer plentiful snacks or main courses.

So, what does one ever wait for? You can do this. You can creatively space snacks throughout your day and teach your body, mind and spirit to live life more fully. Expect this of yourself and your expectations will be fulfilled. Engage others in your habits.

SNACKS TO SHARE

PAUSE or PAWS

  • First thing in the morning, take a few minutes to look outside. Even better, take an early morning walk. (if you have a dog, this is a no-brainer)
  • Clear head space before bed and when first awakening as a non-digital time zone. In other words, don’t take your phone to bed with you and when you open your eyes in the morning avoid reaching for it. Deliberately wait to do so until after your first cup of coffee?
  • Adopt the habit to PAUSE. Stop the rush, halt the wave of anxiety in its tracks, seal your lips before saying the four-letter-word busy, or look at your plate of food before diving in.

    PAUSE or PAWS

    PAUSE. Maybe for a moment of gratitude. Maybe for a breath. Maybe just to reorganize your intention for the next step.

    OK, don’t remember where I got these but I wrote them down to share with you:

  • Replace anxiety with curiosity.
  • Gratitude is the antidote to ruminating.
  • Rather than gulping (breath, water, etc) try sipping.
  • And this may be my favorite – before entering your next Zoom meeting, check your face to replace your frown with a smile!
  • And finally, note what others may have done for us. Perhaps a friend has offered time to simply listen or has reached out with a text message just to say hello. Stop to recognize this gift and then pay it forward.

Snacks, little manageable bits, are seeds that, once planted in fertile acceptance, provide unimaginable opportunities for organic growth. And don’t forget to share your snacks!

 

*Disclaimer. True confession – no, I did not know that teenagers use the word snack to refer to someone they might find attractive – usually sexy. I do not have a teenager in my house. Yet.

APRIL IS A PERFECT MONTH

Move forward with optimism, positivity and energy but be alert for tricks and trip-ups along the way. Am I talking about life? About trail running? About business? About spirituality?

Actually, what prompts this post is an offhand comment I made this morning when I said “April is a perfect month.” Then, as so often happens, I wonder why I said that and have been thinking about it all day. So, here I am at my computer and asking you for your thoughts as well.

Look. Any month that begins with April Fool’s Day can’t be burdensome or serous. One source describes the month as capricious. I like that word, don’t you? Sounds like a bit of fun.

I don’t know about you, but I think one of the best parts of anything wonderful is the anticipation. When we were kids, we would approach a birthday with such high anticipation and then crumble on the other side when it became history. Looking forward to a celebration, outing, trip (we’ll get there again; be patient) or athletic pursuit is often more exciting and perhaps even more profound than the event itself and perhaps that which underpins what ultimately become memories.

“April showers bring May flowers.” Yes, well, perhaps not in New England, but we do seem to be able to garden earlier each year. It seems that the word April comes from a Latin word that means to open. That makes sense. And then there’s the thought that the month is named after the goddess Aphrodite. Diamonds and daisies, blue skies and yellow daffodils, longer days and maybe shorts. Even Shakespeare adds to the clout of April when he says: “April hath put a spirit of youth in everything.” (Sonnet XCVIII) What’s not to love?

And another thing – some note that April is about moving forward. We are leaving cold and mud behind and heading into what, for some of us, is our favorite season. Again, anticipation is to be valued. Each year, to my utter surprise, I realize (sometime in July) that the Summer Solstice has come and gone and that the days are, indeed, getting shorter. Here I am, mid-summer, expecting the daylight to go on and on. But now, here in April, we can look forward to the lengthening of each day for another 2+ months. What a gift!

We do not wait; we move and we move forward. We spring clean, we detox, and we even take another look at our diet/budget twins. We pack away our winter clothes, comforters and skis as we happily unpack lighter wear, bicycles and running shoes.

If we pause, and take a really good look at what we see and how we feel, we may note that we see the opening up – not just of our community following long months of pandemic restrictions – but the opening up of our expectations, hopes and plans. We open our windows and we open our hearts. We inhale fresh air and exhale doubt; inhale boldness and exhale timidity; inhale possibilities and exhale fear; inhale generosity and exhale parsimony.

April is, after all, a month of contradictions that entice us forward with a spring in our steps and hold us back with an unexpected snowfall. April is about the beginning of the kind of inertia that consistently moves onward, not the stodgy old stagnant inertia deeply sloppy mud season.

As soon as the ice melts, jump in!

And though April keeps us guessing, it also encourages the pursuit of equilibrium. We are reminded that things don’t just happen, but that we must seek them. We must seek our own balance, generate our own energy and invite the Yin in our lives to integrate, not compete, with the Yang.

So yes, I think April is a perfect month. It is a month of excitement, renewal and delicate beauty.

If, however, you want more, just be sure to find your own way to celebrate the full Pink Moon on the 26th. Based on previous moons, this one is special, one of only two supermoons of 2021. Look forward, make a plan, execute your plan, and step out in full awareness of what this month has to offer. It is, indeed, perfect.