Paying attention to comfort zones is a significant contributing factor to a life well lived.

Perhaps the first step is to identify and define what each of us perceives to be our own, uniquely individual, comfort zone. (Previously I have quipped that my comfort zone is so small that most of what I do on a daily basis is outside it. If this sounds like a person of anxiety, well, so be it.) Then we might ask “why?” – why step out and why not stay safely within?

Here’s the bottom line: living one’s life within the cozy confines of routine with few opportunities to challenge, might sound nice, but soon reduces one’s ability to respond to stimuli – either positive or negative. It is by tasting the unknown, problem-solving potentially awkward or anxiety-producing situations, and moving forward to completion that we build confidence based on history and, in fact, benefit mental health.

Moving outside a comfort zone means many things to many people. Expanding the boundaries and pushing our limits should be done thoughtfully. Not everyone is ready to jump from sofa-safety to skydiving. What is important is to acknowledge when we are enlarging the zone and how we are preparing to do so, experiencing the moment, and processing what has happened when we return “home” perhaps with a mixture of surprise and satisfaction.

Yo-Yo Ma needs no introduction, but to glance at his biography, we can only imagine how far he has lived his life and performed his work outside of any real or perceived comfort zone. He IS his music and his art, but his life practice includes family, community and humanity.

“Each day I move toward that which I do not understand. The result is a continuous accidental learning which constantly shapes my life.” Yo-Yo Ma.

Stepping out of one’s comfort zone may be physical, mental or emotional but has been shown to stimulate brain cell growth and activity as well as the brain’s chemical response to discomfort and challenge. Varying routine – even as mundanely as taking a different route – nurtures seeds of growth. Learning new skills or simply opening thought to differing opinions, pausing the auto-reject response, may be uncomfortable at first, but becomes a generous piece of our modus operandi.

The world is full of change and if we want to live relatively harmoniously in this world, we need to explore that which is constantly changing. This is a topic lodged in infinity so I will pass by.  Perhaps these recent months of Covid response have prompted many of us to spend quality time learning new things, listening to podcasts and TED Talks and indulging in online courses. Here I share tips of what I have learned. I encourage you to take a few minutes to look back, identify, and review your own experiences; then sit with your new knowledge and skills.

“The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.”  Elizabeth Gilbert

90 minutes challenges sticktoittiveness.

*I have had the privilege of stepping physically into challenging situations whether on my Peloton bike or on an adventure with my chocolate Lab, but find that when I identify the degree of hesitation and concern in advance, I am better able to literally put one foot in front of the other. The key here is to STOP and think before moving outside a zone – the huge advantage of perspective.

*Trust personal history. Navigating what is uncomfortable, or even scary, builds a personal history on which to rely for future anxious times.

*Recognize that an appropriate amount and intensity of exercise (whether for health or performance) – as with comfort zones – needs to be adapted to current individual life circumstances. In the world of athletics, periodization including times of intense training must be balanced with rest, recovery and a multitude of supportive practices. As we seek general health, exercise and activity are imperative to manage stress, cortisol and inflammation, but additionally to provide us with pleasure and a sense of wellbeing. It is, therefore, counterproductive to adhere to rigid training programs at all times, as “life happens” and adjustments are often more beneficial that checking the box.

*The more I learn about nutrition, the more respectful I am of this constantly evolving science. I believe it behooves us all to constantly seek new information and put it into practice as best we can whether it is relative to food, breath, new forms of functional training in the gym or on the Yoga mat, or even gardening or DIY projects. (I must laugh at this last as I am a novice gardener and a DIY dummy who panics at the slightest problem. Thank goodness for Google searches!)

I love the concept of “continuous accidental learning” which indeed shapes life and adds to personal history.

And here I return to Yo-Yo Ma. “Passion is one great force that unleashes creativity, because if you’re passionate about something, then you’re more willing to take risks.” Yo-Yo Ma        

My children, students and clients all know that I am a strong believer in passion. We MUST live our lives with passion if we are to squeeze from them every drop of goodness, whether challenge or achievement, fatigue or energy, fear or strength, valley or mountain. Furthermore, if we submit our limiting lines of comfort to the pursuit of that which excites our passions, we will step outside often and well.

To be “noticefull” invites fluid definition. A child may be filled with the curiosity and wonder created by noticing. A friend may notice the good deed of another. A city dweller might be alert to the sound of footsteps approaching too quickly from behind, while a country resident might look more closely at a fragile blossom along a trail that only yesterday merely hinted of what might follow.  Noticing is rarely an empty pursuit and often fills one with reaction to that which was noticed, i.e., noticefull.

Years ago, each Saturday as I drove to the studio to teach a 7 a.m. Spinning™ class, I listened to the NPR broadcast, a Way with Words. The question was asked if a word is real? The response was clear: “But are they really words if they’re not in the dictionary? Yes, if it’s said or written and has a meaning, it’s a word.” Is noticefull in the dictionary? No, but my 3-year old son used it often and squeezed every drop of meaning out of the compound.

Surely it’s easier to pause when the view invites.

Taking time to pause, to observe, to see, hear, feel, taste or smell, to idle, to muse, may be a gift to retrieve from Covid 19, the grand Thief of life, time, resources and well-being. This thief is not done with us yet. Nor are we ready to surrender as we small individuals in the large mosaic of the 21^st century strive to make sense of what has happened and hang on for what may lie ahead. Yes, there are those who want nothing more than to break free of worry and restrictions, kick up their heels, and try to forget it ever happened. But it did happen and it is happening. Should those of us who are fortunate to have escaped health and financial ruin be grateful? Of course. But perhaps not giddy. Maybe in our gratitude we might search for some snippets of goodness and positivity to carry forward with us. If not Covid, surely other challenges will face those of us lucky enough to live to see them and strong enough to challenge back.

You, my friend, do not need to read yet another blog post about Covid, about the universal need for vaccinations, or about lifting requirements and returning to life as the new usual. Nor do you need to read yet another attempt to help each and all deal with anxiety and mental health. All I can say is that if we thought stress was a buzzword before, well, now, in bold letters, it is a condition linked to a very long list of physical illnesses and a given contributing factor to an even longer list of mental and emotional vulnerabilities and resulting behaviors.

For most of my professional life as a personal trainer, I have worked with concepts beyond the building of physical fitness and enhancement of athletic performance. During recent years I have coached the importance of recovery, play and sleep as equally necessary and rewarding as setting and achieving goals. I also coach “noticefull.”

Clients, students and readers have observed my changing focus, clearly influenced by this past year-plus, in which I continue to encourage habits of regular exercise, good nutrition and numerous components of fitness, but do so within a broader and softer context. Certainly my over 500 hours of Yoga training influences me. The advantages of Zoom (and yes there are many) coupled with fewer daily driving hours, has permitted me time to study, research, listen and learn, all in support of my work. (I used to say there is a fine line between teaching and studying. I now say there is NO line between being a teacher and being a student!)

Now, as we (hopefully) exit the Covid phase, what do I believe, practice and teach?      First and foremost, I believe that each of us is precious and good, worthy                                         and unique unto ourselves. Be it good ole nature or nurture,                                                   we each have valid strengths and challenges,                                                                                 dreams and fears, passions and avoidances to be embraced.

In so many instances, it does not matter how we look or how we compare with another, but rather how we learn, grow and complete ourselves; and then how we are able to reach out to others to help them along their own personal journeys.

We each respond to different approaches. Some of us love the thrill of competition and challenging goals and the process that underpins success in both. Some of us simply seek that precious few minutes when we can take a walk away from distractions or steal a quick 10 minutes to sit in stillness.

If you are stuck In the reluctance of these times, or if you are wildly escaping limitations, you may be sharing the same spectrum of inertia. I encourage you to open your hearts and open your minds, to look and listen. There is an entire world of change to be tasted and tried. Experts abound, often sharing personal stories, and there is usually something to be learned from each. Pick and choose what might work for you. What is accessible, affordable, practical and achievable? Can you add a morning ritual to each day? Perhaps a designated time of connection with someone you miss or love? Open a window on silliness and giggle with kids? (Actually do it when your watch says to breathe?) Downregulate through your final hours of the day phasing out screen time?

Parting thought. I’d like to share my morning ritual with you as it is a product of the past months. As you are surely noticefull, you will quickly realize that you’ve read some of this before – yes, in last month’s post! But I do try to practice what I learn and share with you. Taking advice from multiple sources, and with the encouragement of Sophie, my chocolate lab, I spend an early 20 minutes of my day outdoors. In previous years, I would have dragged her past scents as I tried to log a run. Now I walk leisurely, coffee mug in hand, and give her this time as well. Next it’s my turn and she acquiesces. It’s out to the patio – she with her breakfast and I with my refill. Sometimes I’m bundled up in blankets, but unless it’s raining hard, we spend another 10-20 minutes – Sophie and her bone and me with my books and journal.

American Robin courtesy of USFish&Wildlife

Sometimes I simply sit and listen, as does she. Wait, wasn’t it silent a minute ago? These birds are so raucous! Did they only just begin to sing so loudly? (I know, I know – I looked it up and it’s probably the males staking their claim on territory or potential liaison – but I still call it singing.)  But listening is amazing. Touch? – unless I am noticefull, I don’t feel the air on my skin.

Pure pleasure – sniffing!

Smell? OK, TBH I get a general scent of clean, clear, fresh, green, etc, but let me tell you, Sophie is all about scent. Sometimes I just watch her, nostrils fluttering, eyes closed, so loving the moment. (that would be Sophie’s nostrils not mine) You get the idea. Even 10 minutes of being noticefull prepares me for the day ahead. And that’s before making a list or checking my messages. Is this easy? No. But worth putting the distractions aside. I often reorganize my thoughts by coming back to this from David Whyte: “there is a small opening into the day that closes the moment you begin your plans.”  (What to Remember When Waking, David Whyte: Essentials) I do what I can to protect that opening.

The Starting Gate
Alamy stock photos

And, next, of course, I’m off – out of the starting gate of my day with a clean start and a good break.                                                             I wish you the same.                                      And to be notice full.

FEBRUARY 2021

Navigating our Way from Winter to Spring. Ground Hog Day has come and gone and we are anticipating more winter. Well, so? Here in Vermont it would be disappointing to anticipate otherwise. Bleak? Yes, for the glass half-empty kind of outlook, February is bleak, cold, often gray and blessedly short. But for the glass half-full there are many prompts for celebration. Valentine hearts and flowers can’t be beat and the days are, albeit gradually, lengthening.

Think back to February 2020. We seemed to have been living in a different universe, one in which masks, distancing and an attack on the Nation’s Capital were unimaginable. Then came a Friday the 13^th in March that will, presumably, long be remembered. (I know, we’ve thought that of other events but ….)

However, rather than go down that rabbit hole, let’s return to today. Hope and optimism might have been temporarily buried, but are starting to reappear along with signs of new life medically, socially and politically. There are even hopes that the vaccines now being administered will effectively dampen the fires of Covid19 and perhaps reduce them to cinders from which no new strains will be tempted to flare. We don’t think it will be soon, but we do think there will come a day when we can hug our friends and families and return to some semblance, or at least hybrid, of what life used to be. May we learn lessons from these months, and potentially years, of Covid that will enrich what lies ahead.

But returning to February … I recently read that babies born in February tend to exhibit traits of honesty and compassion coupled with creativity and curiosity. Often quirky, February kids can be feisty as well. Do they take after the month itself? Their personalities do, however, dovetail nicely with some reading I’ve been doing lately.

You may have heard on Fresh Air a few weeks ago the interview of Sanjay Gupta (promoting his new book, Keep Sharp). Being a February kid myself I was particularly attracted to his thoughts on a sound brain, aging and activity suggesting that both intellectual and physical curiosity and exploration are healthy and that seeking new things to study and do, pushing oneself outside the familiar, that personal comfort zone, help sustain both body and brain.  And yes, the brain does continue to develop over the years. (I got so excited about this interview that I quickly bought the book to give as a birthday present to a family member much younger than me. Heads up, I just learned that it was written somehow in cooperation with AARP. I hope the recipient won’t think …. But don’t let that dissuade you from taking a look.)

Almost immediately after the interview a friend gifted me with the book Limitless by Jim Kwik asking that we experience this book together. (bless FaceTime) Kwik, too, encourages positivity, optimism, and action proving that we can indeed live limitlessly. (Is that a word? If not, it should be!) “The key to making yourself limitless is unlearning false assumptions,” Kwik writes. Both Gupta and Kwik begin with the brain but quickly connect with body, motivation, values, and the tools of learning, fitness, nutrition, sleep and the entire half-full concept. Clearly, motivation is a key component and Kwik advises that “Motivation is not something you have, it’s something you do. And it’s entirely sustainable.”

In the fitness world we know that we are unique individuals who have the ability to define ourselves and our possibilities based on what we’ve been given to work with. Sometimes, however, our talents are hidden or underappreciated. Recognizing creativity, willingness, energy, dedication and compassion may result in their use to turn possibilities into probabilities and energy into strength, competence and confidence.

For some, a return to pen and paper is helpful to learn and to effect positive change.

Kwik writes many paragraphs on ‘learning,’ giving it the credence and respect due. It is not news that roles of student and teacher are closely connected and that one enhances the other. As we learn, and as we embrace the wonder and delight that learning offers, we deepen our understanding and absorb the fullness of whatever it is when we in turn share it with others or turn our studies into teachings.

Somewhat on the flip side of all this positivity, I also read an article entitled Anxiety Fallout in the winter edition of the Johns Hopkins Magazine. Being an Alum, I tend to give weight to what I read in these pages. Few would argue with the current and growing crisis of mental health. Anxiety has become a household term yet the definition is fluid – anything from normal to devastating and even deadly. An element of anxiety that strikes a chord with me is what the author, Aaron Reuben, calls ruminating. “When you find yourself talking about the same problem over and over again, without finding you’ve made any progress on it, that’s when you can tell it’s rumination….Too often we get stuck in  defining problems when we need to move on to problem-solving.”  I recall thinking that when my mother was aging and living alone, what she told herself must have been a loop of negativity and her perception of reality looked quite different from what my brother and I saw. She obsessed. Just last night I was reading Kwik’s Limitless and underscored a quote by Melanie Greenberg, “Anxiety can also lead to overthinking, which makes you more anxious, which leads to more overthinking, and so on.” I wrote in the margins – “STOP obsessing!”  (Interestingly this was embedded in a chapter on Focus and the value of effective concentration.  Kwik counsels: “Your concentration is like a muscle. You can train to become stronger with practice.” Yeah, well, I get that analogy!)

So, back to February. As I write this, it is Valentine’s Day. I am a sucker for what I know is a Hallmark day but so what? I really do love the hearts and flowers stuff and get even more sappy on this day of all days. I DO know we are in a pandemic; our country is hanging on, it is winter where I live, and there’s a laundry list of suffering that I am blessed not to experience but have infinite sympathy for those who do. I recognize the enormity of personal responsibility for our brains and our emotions linked with the sense of helplessness when that which we have no control over descends. I dig deep inside myself for tolerance, compassion, hope and faith. And today of all days, love.

I often close a Yoga practice with these words: Honor your heart. Not only is your heart one of the most important muscles in your body, a source of life itself, but it also represents your ability to love and TO BE loved. Namaste.