Lean in. Brianna Wiest, in her book The Mountain Is You, counsels: “Embracing the grit of it all was what you were made for. Lean in and start living.” What does it mean to Lean in? What does it mean to you to do so?
To say we live in turbulent times understates the obvious. Reducing global experience to the minutia of our own daily lives, we may still live in turbulent times, facing challenges of health, budget, climate, safety, or more. To dismiss political tensions and tragedies is disrespectful; to ignore them is irresponsible. To begin with ourselves is a step that needs to be taken.
I first learned of antifragility when I was studying to become a Yin Yoga teacher. In his teachings, Bernie Clark, Yin Yoga master, teaches that physical and mental stress makes us grow stronger. Over years of teaching and practicing Yin Yoga, I can agree. Lately there has been some press on the term, antifragility. For example, Weist suggests that dealing with adversity makes the mind stronger and more creative. [I might note that overwhelming stress is not what we’re talking about here. Clark, for example, always recommends moderate stress to the dense connective tissue and joints when practicing and I doubt that any other professional would recommend getting lost in the quagmire of chaos.]
In 2013 Sheryl Sandberg published a book, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead that encouraged women to lean into their lives and take more control of what lies ahead. So, the concept is not totally new.
In the world of endurance sports, names like David Goggins, Eliud Kipchoge, Camille Herron and Courtney Dauwalter conjur images of humans meeting larger than life adversity. Some face the work with grit and sheer will power while some, like Herron and Dauwalter, are know for their cheerfulness as they enter the often hours-long “pain cave” of their ultra endurance race. They know it’s coming. It always does. So, rather than try to avoid it, these runners lean in until they are through.
While few of us are out there facing extreme challenges, we may note that there are some little challenges in our everyday lives that make us want to balk, but do need to be faced. Each time we wash the dishes, shovel the walk, take the car to be serviced, clean up after a pet, do our exercise, etc etc – each time we are practicing leaning in.
Just this morning, the following arrived in my inbox: “Not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” James Baldwin. In a very small moment of practice, I used this powerful statement for something simple – walking my dogs. Trivial, I know. But it was cold, dark, and, though I am grateful for it, my environment is deep in snow. I geared up, leashed my silly girl, grabbed my hiking poles and out we went. My chocolate Lab, the one off leash, is like a snowplow and forged ahead breaking trail for my less adventurous yellow Lab. Realizing the yellow would not get very far, I unleased her and our adventure became magical. The girls romped and raced along the trail that the chocolate had created and I followed, enjoying the deep woods quiet as the sun rose and eventually filtered through the trees. We all three literally and figuratively leaned into our adventure and returned home much the richer for it.
While we may not be able to reframe all challenges into something manageable or positive or even sunny, we can put one foot in front of the other as we step into the process of meeting what we can. To lean in may not be sexy or exciting or dramatic but it may be methodical and ultimately effective. At the very least, we might get the job – whatever it is – done. We may arrive at our destination.
Motivational quotes have become an industry. I will not share one here but instead suggest that to move into a challenge rather than shrinking from it is an act of emotional intelligence. It is a practice of looking squarely at the obstacle, determining what is possible, and, even if uncomfortable, doing it. Life is messy. When the winds blow, let us lean in.
This year I urge us each to adopt a morning practice, dedicate time each day to fitness, adhere to the principle of progressive overload as we strengthen our precious muscles, step outside our comfort zones, experience new things, nurture enthusiasm and positivity, read words of wisdom or words that make us think our own thoughts and form our own conclusions, eat well, sleep well, practice self-care in its highest and most accessible form, get outdoors daily no matter the weather, connect with friends, honor family, and incorporate modest amounts of breath work into each day learning to reduce stress and to be, according to Thich Nhat Hanh, present. Oh my, this list could go on and on!
What do you think of this from Parker Palmer? “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”
November gets a bad rap. (Or if you prefer, it has a bad rep-utation.) Why? Oh, you can just tick the reasons off on all fingers and toes and have some left over – much has to do with the weather, shorter days, colder temps, holiday stress on the rise, yadayadayada. November is a month of contradictions. Here in Vermont, though the trees are bare and there’s often an engulfing bleakness, it’s also a time of growing excitement for winter sports enthusiasts. Goodness, one of our ski areas, Killington, is already open! Ice hockey, ice climbing, winter hiking, snowshoeing, downhill and cross-country skiing, riding (snowboard), fat-biking and even dog-sledding provide loads of outdoor activities in spite of, or because of, the colder temps.
Even the Thanksgiving Day holiday has generated debate. While November is often referred to as a month of remembrance, note this: in some traditions it is the dead (especially those who are reportedly in purgatory) who need our prayers; yet it is on Veteran’s Day that we remember the living who have served our country and need our thanks.
And if you are upset over the first Thanksgiving feast, perhaps focus on the intention might be sharpened. I do not need to belabor this concept. 
Gratitude is an enormous word – especially these days as so many work to support mental well-being.
*Speaking of outside – do we GO outside EVERY day? For some, this is a no-brainer. If we are fortunate enough to live in a place where outdoor space is abundant and welcoming, well, we are fortunate and therefore have no reason not to open that door and venture out. If we work outdoors, even if we need to get to our cars, or have dogs that need to be walked – again, fortunate. But sometimes we do need to pick ourselves up and spend time in outdoor awareness, noticing the terrain, feeling the air, observing the surroundings and listening. One of the advantages (yes, I count this as advantage) of having a dog is that he or she absolutely must go outside. Opening the door and granting pee time is not enough. Our furry friends need exercise so outside it is – rain, snow, sleet, hail – or so the saying goes. Invariably, we find that even the worst weather conditions offer their own benefits.
Watching as the world around us transition from season to season circling the year’s clock face, pass through clearly defined phases and then reconnect to begin again is a lesson in change, adaptation, and light. Yes, light. If we look – really look – with our physical eyes, inner sight, mental clarity and creative vision, we learn lessons that support and sustain us as we move forward.
Last weekend here in Vermont we were flooded with gorgeous, brilliant colors topped with a dusting of snow on our highest peaks. This weekend we are Past Peak and Still Beautiful. As I noted this on my walk, I was startled to realize that this is a meaningful concept indeed! How often do we admire an antique, painting, vintage clothing or older friend? How much do we appreciate the athlete who has transitioned from the prime days of record-breaking achievement to an athlete who, with maturity, coaches, writes, and reaches out with shared skills?
Is any of this less? Perhaps the transition itself is the learning curve to land experience as something useful rather than degenerative.
Arthur C. Brooks is a popular author whose latest book is From Strength to Strength, Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. I’m taking my time with this one as there are gems on each, page. You might also enjoy this podcast conversation of Brooks with Rich Roll: 
Within the principles of the Five Element Theory of Traditional Chinese Medicine, we have fully entered the time of year associated with the Metal Element and find ourselves involved with the process of refining, honoring wisdom and self-knowledge. (Past Peak but Still Beautiful?) As Gail Reichstein writes in her excellent book, Wood Becomes Water, Chinese Medicine in Everyday Life, the emotion associated with this time of year is grief. “Grief also teaches us what we value in our lives and in the lives of others, giving us the opportunity to redirect our energies toward becoming who we most want to be.”
The Green Mountain National Forest, and more specifically the Camel’s Hump State Forest, are just outside my door. It is therefore no surprise that black bears, who find this an ideal setting in which to live, breed and raise their young, are my next-door neighbors. For the most part, they are good neighbors. They have yet to knock on my door, but they have walked within yards of my home. They keep going, though, as there is nothing to tempt them and, if she notices, my chocolate Lab, Sophie, will make quite a fuss.
But let me go back to some of what I have learned. First of all, here in Vermont, we have BLACK bears. I first learned this a few years ago. I was hiking a 4000’ trail in New Hampshire on a day when there were very few cars parked on the lot below so allowed Sophie to hike off leash. At one point she ran just ahead of me, around a sharp turn, and I heard a voice shout – “OH (expletive-expletive)! If this is a bear, I’m dead!” (Note, Sophie is effusive in her greetings.) Within seconds several other young male voices laughed and teased the first male and began to play with Sophie. One reminded him that if, in fact, this had been a brown bear, he would be dead.
Which brings me back to my Mama Bear story. In 2000, I found myself unexpectedly single and in Santa Fe with my daughter who had just graduated from high school. It was meant to be a family celebration but became something much different. With my daughter’s help, I connected with the strength that I would need to go forward and recognized that the small, stone bear I purchased had special significance for me and for the years ahead. In Native American tradition, bears symbolize physical strength, leadership and are known as the “first helper.” Bear paws are a symbol representing inner strength. My new little figurine of a Zuni bear signifies The Guardian of the Earth. A heart-line arrow going from head to heart symbolizes a warrior’s heart, strong like the bear’s. If no longer a wife, I would be forever a Mama Bear. Today my bear sits on my desk next to my computer monitor. It has traveled many miles and through many situations since the year 2000.
I return to the Mama Bear identity one last time. Perusing the internet I found one statement in an ad for what was dubbed a Mama Bear fleece, that stated: “tough mamas maximize every day.” I also landed on this: “The real definition: A mama bear is a mama with boundaries. A woman who parents the best way she can, for her child, and a woman who doesn’t apologize for her choices. A mama bear is a woman who asserts herself in any way as a parent. She says ‘no’”. Mama Bear. I’ll take it.
Note: I take issue with this survey of black bears in Vermont! The bears in my neighborhood stroll, unconcerned, across patios and along country roads. By later in the summer, when readily available food in the woods is not so readily available, “our” bears have no problem searching dumpsters, around outdoor grills and even through an open door if they happen upon one. However, I do live in a region where bears find a natural habitat. 
For three decades my habitat was a studio. Not just any studio, mind you, but two distinctly different and amazing studios. First, there was the studio in Baltimore. I began ballet lessons with the reigning royalty of classical ballet, Carol Lynn, way way back when I was just 4 years old. Miss Lynn’s kingdom was the huge ground level studio in the Peabody Conservatory of Music, Dance Department. Miss Lynn was respected far and wide as a leading expert and to study with her was deemed a privilege. The studio space was from another epoch. Gorgeous, worn wooden floors vibrated with the energy of movement over a century. Three story high windows needed to be raised and lowered with a 20-foot-long pole – or longer, I can’t really remember. Needless to say, the ceiling was waaaaaay up there. Massive mirrors covered one entire wall. A balcony lined another wall for visitors and critics. A graduate student from the Conservatory piano department accompanied classes on the baby grand in the corner. One door led to an open marble hallway and another to dressing rooms that in turn led to a courtyard. It was magical. I left this studio in my early teens to study in NYC where another old and fabulously worn studio became my home.
Though I continue to teach and write, and though I continue to spend hours each day in physical activity, I now do so with the constant reminder of the outdoors connection. Possibly, it is why we live in Vermont. The outdoors is safe. The outdoors is clean. The outdoors is free.
I noticed this today when I took Sophie for a woods outing and laughed out loud as she tore around in zoomies – over a bridge, into a brook, up a rock, back in the brook, back through a field of goldenrod and milkweed, and over the bridge again and again. Was it sheer joy or has she been bursting at the seams to just buzz? Anyway, it’s what I call my “anticipatory feeling.” Well, there’s that feeling, part intuitive and part reactive, that is the spirit of September. Warm weather teases us to believe there is yet more summer and maybe we can relax; and, then the cooler nights and breezy days inform us that it is well time to pick ourselves up and get organized, restart our sleepy creativity, and begin to use some of the regenerative mental and physical energy that we certainly hope has been nurtured within us.
One of my summer reads was WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE, by Oprah Winfrey (2014). It’s been on my shelf for many years but recently the time was right to have at it. I love her quote on the back cover: “I know for sure: Your journey begins with a choice to get up, step out, and live fully.” Works well with all that September represents, don’t you think?
September might well be the kickstart or restart of professional or personal structure. Perhaps we reframe each day to include dedicated blocks of time for healthy habits, a resumption of fitness hours and attention to nutritional benefits. Furthermore, in the reframing of time, perhaps there is also a reframing of motivation, gratitude and respect for the bodies and minds we exercise and fuel.
The obvious seasonal reminder of shorter days and longer evenings mandates yet another segue into the fall months. There’s no fighting it. Until December 21, darkness will increase and the need to adapt is part survival, or seen from an attitude of positivity, part curiosity.
Returning to Oprah, let me share a quote of Goethe’s: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it;/Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” Oprah follows this with: “Make a decision and watch your life move forward.”
Moving outside a comfort zone means many things to many people. Expanding the boundaries and pushing our limits should be done thoughtfully. Not everyone is ready to jump from sofa-safety to skydiving. What is important is to acknowledge when we are enlarging the zone and how we are preparing to do so, experiencing the moment, and processing what has happened when we return “home” perhaps with a mixture of surprise and satisfaction.
*The more I learn about nutrition, the more respectful I am of this constantly evolving science. I believe it behooves us all to constantly seek new information and put it into practice as best we can whether it is relative to food, breath, new forms of functional training in the gym or on the Yoga mat, or even gardening or DIY projects. (I must laugh at this last as I am a novice gardener and a DIY dummy who panics at the slightest problem. Thank goodness for Google searches!)